Failure...(Is a state of mind)

One of my goals was to eat clean for the next 3 months. Man, I blew it! I woke up late, missed my AM Karate workout because of it and set me up for a bad day. I was mad I didn't get up so I could do a workout, and now I feel like a loser. I am also stressed out because I haven’t started my weight routine yet. Then I start to doubt that I will ever be able to achieve any of my goals. Dude, you already blew it you might as well go to have a 14" Buffalo Chicken Sub, some chocolate milk, and a big fat cookie to go with it. You are fat, you are always going to be fat, you might as well forget about ever being lean. You are never going to get this monkey off your back (emotional eating). You are always going to sabotage your results with food. That picture you sent to your wife of what you want to look like, what a joke. She probably laughed when she saw it; she knows too it isn’t ever going to happen.

That pretty much sums up what I was thinking yesterday. I felt like crap all night because of what I ate. I felt like crap in my head, as well as my stomach. Those negative thoughts drove me nuts yesterday, they have such a way of building on each other don’t they? OK so I did mess up yesterday, but I did not fail. I have only failed when I give up. Only then will I fail to succeed in what I am trying to do. I will face setbacks that might slow me down a little, but as long as I keep moving in the right direction that is all that matters.

So what did I learn from this? It is interesting to me that I was so on while we where on vacation, and I fell apart when we got home. For one thing, our meals were pretty planned out while on vacation. I plan ahead my lunches for work, but nothing beyond that. This needs to change, I need to plan all my meals 3 days ahead of time. Also on vacation I didn’t have the day to day stress. The everyday stress seems to make me want to eat foods that are not on plan. I guess that is the definition of emotional eating isn’t it? I need to work on this and reflect on it.

I feel great today; I got up this morning before work and ran 3 miles. I was just going to cruise through at 5.5 MPH, but I bumped it up to 6 when I got to the 2 mile mark. I felt so good running at 6, I bumped it up to 6.3 at the 2.5 mile mark. Even that was good, so for the last ¼ mile I ran at 6.5. I feel like I did something today and it is only 7:30. I know my food is going to be right on today. I know because I believe today that I can reach my goals. My big goals that get me really pumped, I can picture me achieving them. With that picture in my head nothing can stop me.